Would you drive on, or wait?
5/30/08
5/19/08
5/7/08
Why Moms drink
A Mother passing by her son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bedwas nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope,propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Mom'. With the worst premonition she opened the envelope with trembling hands and readthe letter.
Dear Mom,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writingyou. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid ascene with Dad and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy andshe is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of allher piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that sheis much older than I am. But it's not only the passion...Mom she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has astack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it. Don't worry Mom. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit sothat you can get to know your grandchildren.
Love,Your Son Jon
P.S.Mom,
None of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my center desk drawer. I love you.
Call me when it's safe to come home.
Dear Mom,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writingyou. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid ascene with Dad and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy andshe is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of allher piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that sheis much older than I am. But it's not only the passion...Mom she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has astack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it. Don't worry Mom. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit sothat you can get to know your grandchildren.
Love,Your Son Jon
P.S.Mom,
None of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my center desk drawer. I love you.
Call me when it's safe to come home.
5/5/08
True Friendship
Sent from a friend of a friend........
True' Friendship - None of that Sissy Crap
Are you tired of those sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card- Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.
1. When you are sad -- I will help you plot revenge against the sorry creep who made you sad.
2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.
4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much Worse it could be until you quit whining.
6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.
7. When you are sick -- Stay the heck away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy butt!
9. This is my oath.... I pledge it to the end 'Why?' you may ask; 'because you are my friend'.
Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel its true warmth.
Remember: A friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body. Let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel..
True' Friendship - None of that Sissy Crap
Are you tired of those sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card- Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.
1. When you are sad -- I will help you plot revenge against the sorry creep who made you sad.
2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.
4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much Worse it could be until you quit whining.
6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.
7. When you are sick -- Stay the heck away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy butt!
9. This is my oath.... I pledge it to the end 'Why?' you may ask; 'because you are my friend'.
Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel its true warmth.
Remember: A friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body. Let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel..
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