1) Did you fart? cuz you just blew me away.
2) Are yer parents retarded? cuz ya sure are special.
3) My Love fer you is like diarrhea. I just can't hold it in.
4) Do you have a library card? cuz I'd like to sign you out
5) Is there a mirror in yer pants? cuz I can see myself in em...
6) You might not be the best lookin girl here, but beauty's only a light switch away.
7) I know I'm not no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make yer bed-rock..
8) Yer eyes are as blue as window cleaner.
9) If yer gunna regret this in the mornin, we kin sleep til afternoon.
AND.. the best for last!
10) Yer face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it, my nuts tighten up
8/25/09
8/20/09
FW: How to stop church gossip
Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church's
morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business...
Several members did not approve of her extra curricular activities, but
feared her enough to maintain their silence.
She made a mistake, however, when she accused Frank, a new
member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front
of the town's
only bar one after noon.
She emphatically told Frank (and several others) that every
one seeing it there
WOULD KNOW WHAT HE WAS DOING!
Frank, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and
just turned and walked away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny.
He said nothing.
Later that evening, Frank quietly parked his pickup in front
of Mildred's house ... walked home. .and left it there all night.
(You gotta love Frank!)
morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business...
Several members did not approve of her extra curricular activities, but
feared her enough to maintain their silence.
She made a mistake, however, when she accused Frank, a new
member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front
of the town's
only bar one after noon.
She emphatically told Frank (and several others) that every
one seeing it there
WOULD KNOW WHAT HE WAS DOING!
Frank, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and
just turned and walked away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny.
He said nothing.
Later that evening, Frank quietly parked his pickup in front
of Mildred's house ... walked home. .and left it there all night.
(You gotta love Frank!)
8/13/09
Priceless
Cost of a bowl of soup at homeless shelter: $0.00 dollars
Having Michelle Obama Serve you your soup: $0.00 dollars
Snapping a picture of a homeless person who is receiving government funded meal while taking a picture of the first lady using his $500 Black Berry cell phone: Priceless
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
