FW: Please pray for our president

We were in slow-moving traffic the other day and the car in front of us had an

Obama bumper sticker on it. It read: "Pray for Obama. Psalm 109:8".

My husband's Bible was lying on the dash board & he got it & opened it up to the scripture & read it. He started laughing & laughing. Then he read it to me.

I couldn't believe what it said. I had a good laugh, too.

Psalm 109:8
"Let his days be few; and let another take his office."

Tiger Woods

Why did Tiger crash into a fire hydrant AND a tree? He couldn’t decide between a wood and an iron.

What’s the difference between a golf ball and an Escalade? Tiger can drive a golf ball 400 yards.

Did you know Tiger is 1/2 Black and 1/2 Asian. The black side picked the rims on his Escalade and the Asian side drove.

Did you hear what Tigers new name is? He shall now be called "Cheetah".

Did you hear why Nike decided to continue to sponsor him? Because his motto is the same as theirs: just do it!

Tiger's car collection is now complete... He has a hole in one.

When Tiger's wife was asked how many times she hit Tiger, she said, "I don't know, put me down for a five".

FW: A WINTER STATISTIC

A winter statistic

98% OF PEOPLE SAY 'OH SHIT' BEFORE

GOING IN THE DITCH ON A SLIPPERY ROAD.

THE OTHER 2% ARE FROM IDAHO AND THEY SAY, 'HOLD MY BEER AND WATCH THIS.'

FW: First Democrat discovered

First Democrat Discovered

--
Mike G
Tucson, Az.

FW: how to recognize a gay terrorist

FW: THIS ONE IS FOR ALL GRANDPARENTS!!!

At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 9-year-old baseball players aside and asked, 'Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?'
The little boy nodded in the affirmative.

'Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or lose together as a team?'
The little boy nodded yes.

'So,' the coach continued, 'I'm sure you know, when an out is called, you shouldn't argue, curse, attack the umpire, or call him a pecker-head. Do you understand all that?'

The little boy nodded again.

He continued, 'And when I take you out of the game so another boy gets a chance to play, it's not good sportsmanship to call your coach 'a dumb ass' is it?'

Again, the little boy nodded.

'Good,' said the coach. 'Now go over there and explain all that to your grandmother.'

Why I don't use treadmills

Pickup move

Texas drought

Texas Drought It's so dry in Texas that the Baptists are starting to baptize by sprinkling, the Methodists are using wet-wipes, the Presbyterians are giving out rain-checks, and the Catholics are praying for the wine to turn back into water. And the Mormons... not to worry. They have a years supply of water stored.